Social Anxiety

Recently Cloee has struggled with social anxiety. She would do fine at dance classes twice a week but then when she needed to practice in the big room with all the girls, including the big girls, she got super nervous and scared. She WOULD NOT practice dancing with ALL those girls. She was complaining that there were just so many girls and also that the music was so loud. It was really frustrating to me. I couldn't understand it, especially because Carlee would be in there and many of Carlee's friends. Cloee knew all of the girls from her own class and then many of the other girls through Carlee. At the first big rehearsal she worked herself up so much and fell asleep. When they told me she cried a bit and then fell asleep I was flabbergasted because she never just goes to sleep like that. It was the middle of the afternoon and she had slept until 11am. She was not tired. I think it was emotional overload for her and she was emotionally exhausted. They said she didn't even cry that much but the emotions were inside her and it was all too much for her. The 2nd rehearsal did not go well either. We dropped her off with Carlee with the agreement that she would WATCH the girls dance and when she felt comfortable then she would get up and go to her spot and she would practice along with everyone else. Well she got there and asked if she could just sit in the back and watch and so she did and then Miss Mandi told them to call me and go pick Cloee up. So basically they sent her home and said she wasn't gonna dance. (We tried to get her to stay- even telling her that if she didn't dance then she would absolutely not be able to go to Disneyland the next time we go, which she hasn't been able to quit talking about since we last went!).Well that really messed up the agreement Cloee and I had. I wanted her to at least watch and learn a little bit of the spacing and such just by watching. I was actually pretty angry about it all. I know she wasn't any problem sitting in the chair in the back. So I talked to Miss Mandi and explained my feelings and how I needed Cloee to be able to at least sit in with the noise and digest it all. She said no problem. Before the 3rd rehearsal Carlee and I had had some long talks with Cloee about it all. We told her how she would be able to dance on the football field and everyone would be there (It was Tanner's JV football game they were gonna dance at so everyone came so they could see both Tanner and Carlee and Cloee dance)- Mommy and Daddy, Grammy and Cassidy, Gpa Ron and Gma Joann, Tiff and Ashleigh. She got excited and said she was going to practice but I was still unsure if she actually would. We got there early- and Cloee was one of the first girls in the big room. Every minute a girl here and there would come in. Pretty soon the room was full and I don't think Cloee even noticed. She would see one of her friends her age from her dance class and they would play and then see another one and she'd go play with someone else. She was having fun and didn't even realize that the room was loud and full of girls. I stayed and observed for about 20 minutes. She had a giant grin on her face the entire time. She rehearsed the dance over and over and did a great job. She since has performed at 2 high school football games (pom routine) and the AZ State Fair (tap and jazz routines). She has done a fabulous job so far. She remembers all the dances pretty well for a 4 yr old. I am so overly proud of her. Words cannot even express. She is so darling and just shines on stage. I love watching both of my girls perform!!!!

Cloee has had other instances of social anxiety. She completely freaked out when all the kids were around her on the stand for the primary program a few weeks ago. When she was very little - like 6-8 months I can remember very clearly how she would freak out when I would walk into a room with a lot of people in it. This would happen in church if we didn't get there early before it started. Also at Enrichment activities. I remember like 3 months in a row she completely freaked out and cried the entire time- if I took her out of the room everyone was in then she was completely fine but as soon as I walked back in she would be hysterical. When she was older and in Primary the morning of church she would wake up and cry all morning just thinking about the thought of having to go to her Primary class. It was torture. Until one day she decided Primary was a safe place. And it was fun. And she had friends there. And people were nice. And she could sing there and say prayers and learn about Jesus. Geez- so thankful she finally got over that one!

It is very hard when she goes through these things. There is NOTHING I can do or say to make her feel any different. I constantly work with her on things. There are many more details to this but too much to write right now. I will try to post more when I get the chance. I wanted to just get all this recorded for now.